Every young teenager when chatting with their friends, often comments with the note “He’s a good guy, but he’s not my type.” They hope that they will be captured by some tall guy with strong shoulders, with a beautiful smile, beautiful car… And while such arguments happen in the teenage years, it’s no problem. But they often continue in mature years, only then when the “my type” refers not only to physical appearance, but also to numerous features. So, in the 30s and 40s, we often reject a potential partner because he/ she is not educated, ambitious, eloquent, situate. He/ she simply does not fit into the “type” image. Make sure you get in touch with us today and schedule a session.
We live in a modern society that only favors the creation of ideal types, and online entertainment apps offer the option to show who we best match with. There are also romantic books, media that bomb us with tests “find out what your type of man / woman is”. We are accustomed to categorizing and putting in drawers, and we do it with love. On the forums, the profile of an ideal partner is sketched, so women reveal that their type is a powerful, faithful, handsome, witty man with manners, while men look for a beautiful, gentle, fun, loyal lady whose family is in the first place. Only if the potential candidate meets all the requirements otherwise they will not even look at him/ her.
Is such behavior the result of experience and a sign that after all, through what we passed, we finally know what we want and what we don’t? Or is just because it does not fit into the image of our ideal reflection of immaturity? What are we losing, and what do we get if we give a chance to someone who at first glance is not our type?
If, due to a certain experience in partnership relations, we are well acquainted ourselves, it is possible after a short period of openness to get to know and evaluate a potential partner to feel whether it is worth investing in a relationship or withdrawing.
The fantasy of the ideal type of man or woman sometimes represents a defense mechanism from establishing a relationship. When we become intimate with someone, we discover our good, but also the bad sides, and we see what we are ashamed of.
We feel vulnerable, there is the possibility of being hurt, rejected. If we imagine a sufficiently elusive, ideal type, we will never find it, and that saves us from the risk of establishing an intimate relationship with the argument that we are just not lucky to find the right person. Or, some people do not take full responsibility for their lives, they are waiting for the “savior” in the form of an ideal partner who will provide them with everything they need. It is difficult for them to give up this boyfriend’s fantasy, get in touch with a real person, and at the same time take responsibility for their own happiness. These are just some of the examples when “having your partner type” is a reflection of immaturity.
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